Thursday, March 11, 2010

a slight departure from our normal programming

Isn’t it weird when your life’s going to shit and you just sit back and watch it all happen? Not to be melodramatic, but that’s kind of what’s happening. More to people around me and therefore I feel like I can’t shake this funk. I keep trying to plan my future and getting stuck in the next few months, weeks. What I want and what reality is are too very different things and I can’t figure out how to reconcile the two. I feel like life is kind of a giant catch 22. I need to make money to support myself, but I need to get this job that I want. But the job’s too hard to get. So I’ll have to find another job, but it won’t pay enough and I won’t really be able to support myself well. And because of changing circumstances in my life, coasting for a while, living at home, won’t really be an option when I graduate. Which kinda fucking sucks.

I know that I shouldn’t complain, I have a way better life that a lot of people and everything is petty and unimportant unless it's happening to you. We all deal with our personal dramas, they just come in different forms.

So, somehow my spring break hasn’t really worked out the way I thought it would. New Orleans didn’t go as planned, and I haven’t gotten to lay out (I know, poor me. But hey, that’s all I wanted to do this week.) So, it just kind of feels like everything sucks, which is stupid because I should try to just look on the bright side, and suck it up.

And now that I’ve totally depressed myself… tomorrows a brand new day. and hopefully it will be full of sunshine, sunbathing, and good photos.

Hey a girl can hope.

(no photo today, because i can't find my camera cord which pisses me off to no end..)

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