Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Things that make me happy

I'm in a rut. Yesterday was a bad day and last week was a bad week (M-W). Work is overwhelming and life is overwhelming and I seem less able to cope with all of it.

Thursday night my mom, two sisters and niece got here though. So there were lots of fun things to be done over the weekend. But the emotional crash that came after they left was bad. I got dressed for yoga last night but couldn't go because I literally could not stop crying.

But, I have choices. I have the power to make myself happy. Sometimes I need to remember this.

This morning I woke up at 6, angry that I was awake and dozed till 7. Before I opened my eyes I told myself, "Today will be a good day."

It's hard. Because I've already been awake for almost two hours and done nothing. I can't seem to balance my schedule of constant work on the days when I have to work (13+ hours) and days when I'm off and have no obligations. This newfound freedom of my time, is unsettling. During school there was always something to study, so even my free time was overrun with the guilt of not studying.

Now, I literally have nothing I have to do, to fill my days. Leaving me feeling unmoored and adrift, purposeless.

I know that there are things that make me feel better. I discovered them during school. There are things I can do that ensure I am happier, lighter. Spending time outside seems to be a sure fire mood booster. This is hard to do if its cold and rainy like it is right now. As much as I try to convince myself that rain is pretty, it kills my mood. I need to move somewhere where it is sunny 95% of the time.

Things that make me happy (aka things that I need to do more of):
- letter writing
- art journaling
- yoga (and exercise)
- meditation
- spending time outside
- reading
- photography

I need to figure out what to do with my time off. And I know I should just be relaxing and enjoying the fact that I have nothing to do. But that seems to be a recipe for disaster, because having no direction in my life leaves me feeling lost and sad. I'm constantly cooking up ideas for ventures I can do on the side: photography, cake decorating, traveling. I keep coming back to the photography. It makes me truly happy and is something that is flexible enough that I could do it while working full time as a nurse. It would fulfill my creatively, allow me to use my mind differently and maybe even bring in a little extra cash.

I just need to ruminate on how to make it all work. It doesn't help being in a new city where I know very few people. The energy needed to get out and make contacts, meet people and other photographers feels insurmountable right now. But I'm working on it.

And it's spring. Spring is the time of new starts, flowers blooming, rain washing away all the dirt and grime. The weather is nicer, I feel happier than I do during the winter. Spring seems full of possibilities.

I took an Adventure Vinyasa class last week and the teacher said, at the beginning of class "My idea of adventure is any situation in which joy is a possibility." 

I love this idea. The idea that adventures are fun and can be awesome if you allow them to be. I'm trying to apply this to my life. Everything can be an adventure if you let it. Joy is always a possibility if you seek it.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Photo Dump

It's April!!! And my birthday is next week! I can't believe its April already! Thank goodness though! I am so ready for spring and summer! Warm weather, the pool. 

I had to go to a class monday and tuesday this week. Then I had wednesday off and worked 2 12's thursday and friday. Thursday and Friday were my first actual "real" orientation days on the unit with my assigned preceptor. I took one patient each day by myself and helped my preceptor out with the rest of her patients. It was overwhelming, and busy. I know it will get easier but right now it's just tiring and hard. 


I kind of love yoga. 

Sunburst halo before yoga!

Saturday brunch comfy clothes

 Brunch. Mmmm.

Week 14/52

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Photo dump x 2!

Well, its accidentally been two weeks since I've posted a photo dump! Mostly I've just been busy working although I did sneak away for a weekend in florida last weekend.

Spring.. is that you!?

Saturday mimosas!! 

Why are they so confused by the beignets?!

Friend was puppy sitting! SO CUTE

Week 11/52

 Week 12/52

Week 13/52

Friday, March 14, 2014

Friday photo dump

Phew, I finished my first week of orientation!

Flowers from last week. 

View from the Vulcan with E. 

E helping Rachael get ready. 

IT'S OFFICIAL! holy crap. 

Week 10/52

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Friday Photo Dump

So I moved to Birmingham this week! It's been weird. Moved into my apartment and I start orientation on Monday! YIKES. 

Left my babies behind… 

I sent this to Rach saying I'd found the perfect present for her. 

This was a filled out 5 year journal in an antiques store. I wanted it so badly.

Keys to my apartment!

King cake for Mardi Gras!

Downtown from the hospital parking garage

The Vulcan!

Friday, February 28, 2014

Friday Photo Dump!

Last photo dump of February!! I've been busy the last couple weeks. Went to Birmingham to look for apartments last week so this week was spent deciding on an apartment and getting all the logistics of that figured out. Then I had to actually start… packing! I apologize for the lack of quality pictures this week. Packing and running around town getting everything done took over my life this week. 

Private eyes are watching you...

Sunday packing status update

Tuesday packing update. The boxes are multiplying!

Wednesday. I should have taken one today cause I'm pretty much completely packed now. But I'm too lazy to go upstairs.. 

Gigi and I. Gonna miss this furball way too much. (Who am I kidding she'll most likely be coming to live with me in a couple months)

Week 8/52

Friday, February 21, 2014

Friday Photo Dump

Another week down and Februray is almost over!! Weird!

Week 7/52

Week 8/52