yesterday's child

Friday, March 8, 2013

It's Friday!!

Saturday morning emergency doughnut run.

Saturday evening ice cream run.

Monday. She was pretty pleased with herself.

Reading while cooking pasta

Lazy day tuesday

Baked cupcakes today!

The following pics are from wednesday. It was snowing giant wet flakes that photographed well. So of course I had to go out and play.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The other night I lay in bed, simply overcome with thoughts. I almost got up and turned my computer back on to start writing then… but I was afraid that would ruin whatever train of thought I had going. So I settled by writing some of it down on my phone and saving it to be reexamined later.

My eyes burn with sleep that won't come
My mind yearns for the past

And I wonder are all artistic people tortured? Is this a normal part of Artistic life?* This feeling of muchness? Too great, too terrible, too beautiful, too MUCH. There is this enormity of all of my feelings. As if everything that I can experience is too large to truly behold.

And I try to convince myself that the artistic part of me is not dead. That I can be artistic in other ways. That maybe they can be just as meaningful. Because you can't go back to what you used to be. That my sense of my artistic self is not a loss. That I'm not lost.

I'm not scared that I lost the person I used to be. I'm scared that I lost the person I could have become. The persons I could have become. The multiple versions of myself that were waiting for me once upon a time. Isn’t that the hardest part of deciding what to do with your life? Letting go of the things that you could have been? As if by choosing one path I must say goodbye to all the others that I could have taken. I know this isn’t a new question, heck “The road less travelled” is basically this question in poem form, but still isn’t it a valid question?

How do we reconcile this loss of what we could become? How do you ever decide that the path you’ve chosen is the right one when all the other paths call to you almost as loudly?

I don’t have many answers; mostly just questions that keep me awake at night. Questions that bubble back up when everything around me is quiet.

*I accidentally capitalized artistic on my phone… but I think its kind of nice, so I’ll leave it

Saturday, March 2, 2013

friday update

a day late because i didn't realize what day of the week it was...

eating cake for breakfast last sunday.. i couldn't let it go to waste!

yummy lemonade last sunday at a baby shower i went to.

moon rising last sunday

My madness underneath and goodies!!

Reading wednesday

Thursday night

E playing friday

Gigi after coming back from the groomers

Saturday, February 23, 2013

It's friday! Erm.. saturday now..

From earlier in the week

Gigi laying in the sun

Seriously this girl is all about the "Macks!" (snacks)

From wednesday when I got to go do my OR observation. Saw a craniotomy where they took out a three inch round tumor from a lady's head!

From a birth last night, well there didn't end up being a baby yet... but i was there for 10 hours..

The sky tonight

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Friday wrap up

OOPS. totally forgot to post this on friday. whoopsies.

last weekend.. theodore in technicolor

Very strange sunrise from monday

Gigi on monday. She is such a weird dog.

Taught myself how to dutch braid monday night.

Braid in my hair on tuesday

Braids wednesday. Can you tell it was the week of braids?

E wednesday. Sitting in a booster seat being a big girl.

Making valentines for my clinical group and watching lost girl

View from Wednesday afternoon. Studying for my stable class.

Stable on thursday. LONGEST flipping class ever. But I did get to tour the NICU so there's that..

Thursday, loving my new scarf!

And another scarf. This one on friday. And my nails match!

Skirt and sweater that I ordered from Forever 21. The colors even match!

E on friday after it snowed two inches in an hour. She flipping loves the snow (or maybe its just being outside in general)

Friday afternoon

Rach was laying backwards in the chair so Gigi decided to join her (love that this legit looks like a zappos ad)

Cuddly

Friday evening

So excited to only have one more day of clinicals on the floor. Then I'm going to do my OR observation on wednesday. Then I've got 3 weeks off before my next clinicals start. Unfortunately tests and school crap to do between then... but at least I can go get my nails done!